Ice Cream Rhino-corn

We all know unicorns are beautiful, magical creatures, worthy of praise and admiration.

And so are rhinos.

Rhinos are my absolute favourite animal. I love them because they’re big and lumbering, but if you see them up close they are actually super graceful and gentle. Also, they are discount unicorns.

And how do you make a unicorn from a rhino?

Just add ice cream!

 

Fact: Rhinos are Unicorns that ate a lot of Ice Cream. Make your own after the jump.

BB-8 (Free Patern)

I saw ‘Star Wars’ over Christmas. Soooo good. And I’m not even a huge Star Wars geek (although I know enough to know that the first three movies don’t actually exist). I really loved the feminist kick to it (although don’t even get me started on Darth Snape). I also really loved this little guy:

Everyone in the crochet community must have gone nuts the second they saw BB-8 right? He’s practically designed to be Amigurumified! (One day I will attempt Chewie too, but til then do you like my backpack?) They pretty much gave us the challenge – BB-8 is probably the new Minions. So of course I crocheted him. And so can you – free pattern after the jump.

Magic the Gathering Planeswalkers (Pattern Edit)

Hello all. Any Magic the Gathering (MtG) fans out there? For those not in the know, MtG is a card game where you summon monsters and cast spells in order to beat your opponent. It’s what Pokemon wishes it was (let’s face it, noone actually PLAYS Pokemon, we all just love the characters and had collect em all fever in High School…)

MtG is the reason I’m with my partner by the way – I drunkenly butted into a conversation he was having to inform him that I used to love the game as a kid, then wandered off. Later on he sidled over with ‘Do you REALLY play Magic cards?!’ and the rest is history! Luckily he stayed with me, even though I’m terrible at the game, and had actually oversold my ability considering that I had totally forgotten how to play but thought he was hot so lied through my teeth. Ah it must be love… 😉

Anyway, enough waffle. One of the key elements of MtG is the Planeswalkers. They’re the uber characters in the game, have the best skills and can be attacked instead of your player life points, in a nutshell. There’s loads of mythos around each one and many, many more than the ones I have made, but the five below are from a recent card set. All are made using my Ami Me Base pattern.

Chandra

Chandra – Red Planeswalker

Liliana

Liliana – Black Planeswalker

Jace

Jace – Blue Planeswalker

Nissa

Nissa – Green Planeswalker

Gideon

Gideon – White Planeswalker

Group shot, with their creepy alter-egos!

Clearer group shot, ready to cause chaos 😀

Need more MtG? Check out my Ajani Goldmane pattern edit too.

Discworld (Free Pattern)

I first discovered the Discworld books when I was probably in my preteens, when my older brother left ‘Mort’ on the kitchen table and I was in need of something to read. I picked it up not really expecting much, and then spent the rest of the summer hungrily hunting down other books from the series. And I’ve been pretty much addicted ever since. My favourite books are the Watch books – there’s something about Sam Vimes, Captain Carrot and Sergeant Angua that really just grabs me. I don’t have a favourite book, I find it impossible to pick one. But when I have nothing to read, or when I don’t feel well, or when I just really fancy phasing out and losing myself in another world it’s always Discworld that I return to.

So when Terry Pratchett died back in March, I knew I needed – not wanted, needed – to pay tribute somehow. And I’ve finished in time to tie in nicely with the release of the final (sob) Discworld book ‘The Shepherd’s Crown‘ next month, so consider this free pattern my prerelease gift to you, in memory of a man whose creativity and writing genius far outstrips anyone else ever. You’re missed Sir Terry- RIP.

I present: The Discworld.

The turtle, Great A’tuin, and the disc itself are my patterns, and the four elephants, Tubul, Jerakeen, Berilia and Great T’Phon, are made using Mad Crochet Lab’s Elephant pattern which you can buy for just $2 at the link. Patterns for my parts are available free after the jump.

Clive the Monster (Free Pattern)

So the following posters have been spotted around London recently :

Credit: chloeolympe on Instagram, via Buzzfeed

I’m not from London, I’m from West Yorkshire, but imagine my glee when the Buzzfeed article about this mentioned that Clive’s owner, James McMahon was from South Yorkshire. So I, of course, like any concerned citizen, searched my yarn stash, having a suspicion that mini Monsters often like to hide in such places. Lo and behold, look what I found:

He appears to have changed colour to blend in – camouflage is a wonderful skill. I have contacted James to see about returning his companion. Watch this space. In the meantime, if you’d like to make your own Clive, follow the pattern after the jump.

Rat Dissection (free pattern)

Allo! Amiguruthi is back! And with a disgusting but cute pattern for this little lab experiment:

I actually made this one back in August, when my sister requested him as a birthday present after she saw aKNITomy’s fabulous knitted version on Etsy. Then I got busy and promptly forgot to post his pattern. He came back to my memory thanks to my recent activity in a little show I wrote, directed and (due to last minute actor illness) performed in called ‘The Pied Piper’. For the last four months I’ve been off doing this show as a panto. For those non-UK readers, pantomime (commonly shortened to panto) is a children’s show with a dose of adult jokes, based on fairy tales and featuring large doses of slapstick humour. They’re generally performed around Christmas time, although since my group is amateur we push it back to February to avoid clashing with the big boys. It’s the first thing I’ve ever written or directed for stage and I could wax lyrical about how proud I am of it all, but this here blog is about crochet and you’re all here to learn how to make rat guts. So without any further ado, follow the pattern link after the jump.

My Little Pony Lapghan (Free Pattern based on Linked Pattern)

Alternative title: Ten things I learnt when I finally made a Lapghan.

Two posts in less than a month? It’s a record! This is a double as well, including some of my excellent ranting, as well as a freebie pattern at the end.

So in September 2014, I decided that it was high time I finally learnt to make a granny square. Except that I couldn’t find a pattern I liked that I could get to work (don’t get me started on trying to get this damned thing to work, beautiful but impossible even with an English pattern translation!). So I made a Hexagon instead.

And then I decided to make an Afghan.

And then I started crocheting, and downgraded to Lapghan. Because thing Number 1 I learnt?

1. Making so many hexagons drives you insane.

In total I only made 49 of these things, and it took me three and a half months. On New Years Eve I made 14 of those 49 (it’s not as sad as it sounds – we stayed in and did a ‘Lord of the Rings’ extended edition marathon and I crocheted while I watched, it was awesome). I had to put it down for long lengths of time because the idea of having to make another damned hexagon almost  put me off crochet for life.

2. I need how much yarn???

I have a basket where I keep my project of the moment, and during this one I had 16 different balls of yarn in there. I dreaded running out of one cos I didn’t have a clue where I found some of them. Which leads me to…

3. Sometimes coincidences happen.

One of my friends commissioned some Minions for a Christmas present for her Grandson, and as part of her payment gave me a couple of balls of random purple yarn she had no use for. I put them somewhere and forgot about them, until I ran out of a shade of purple with one hexagon still to go. Cue panicked dig through the yarn stash and wouldn’t you know it? Random purple yarn = exact right colour. Spooky.

4. Don’t mix your yarn thicknesses.

I discovered part way through making this Lapghan that I was using a mix of Double Knit, Worsted Weight and Sports Weight yarn. I had always thought that DK and WW were two names for the same thing. Apparently not. Oops. Made attaching the hexagons together a bit hit and miss and required some stretching on one or two of them.

5. Sewing together is both infuriating and therapeutic all at once.

I attacked my sewing up in batches – make seven hexagons, sew them into one big hexagon, repeat.

I both loved and loathed this bit, because although it took time, it was kinda cool to see the work grow as I did it. It was fairly mindless too so good for zoning out.

6. Tying in the ends is a bitch though.

Honestly, I know that I’m meant to sew in the tails or whatever, but I’m lazy so the knots are just gonna be made as small as possible ok? Cool.

7. I do not know how people make multiple Afghans a year.

Honestly, you crafters simply amaze me sometimes.

8. Blocking doesn’t actually have to take forever.

Some will tell you that when you block a piece of work, you need to do it by lovingly soaking it in a specific temperature of water, perhaps with some fabric softener or starch or whatever, then pinning it out and leaving it however long it takes yarn to air dry. Balls to that – get the iron out, works just as well in a tiny percentage of the time.

9. Work out the lay plan before you start.

It’s confusing as all hell trying to remember which hexagon goes where in the little seven hexagon flowers, and it’s even more confusing trying to work out how to fit seven of these mini ones together into the final Lapghan. At one point I thought I’d messed up entirely and chosen a shape that couldn’t be tessellated how I’d expected. Luckily not the case!

10. I will never make an Afghan or Lapghan again.

Sorry, not happening. It’s lovely, but…. just… no. No.

Unless it gets really cold.

Or I find a cool pattern.

Hmm…

Free pattern link and explanation of the colours of my ‘My Little Pony’ inspired Lapghan after the jump.

Ami-Me (Free Pattern and edit shots)

Hiya everyone. It’s Summer! And that means SUMMER HOLIDAYS! Yay! I now have six weeks off work (well, six weeks at home with a lot of stuff to do before I start the new school year but I’m not complaining). And that means I should have a bit more time to post things on here. Which I will start with now with my Ami-Me.

For anyone who doesn’t read Mad Crochet Lab, Ami-Me is a CAL she’s ran these last two years. The idea is you make up (or amend) a pattern for a mini you. She’s displaying all this year’s entry over at her blog so go check them out (Trace‘s is my favourite!). I didn’t get to take part last year, so I made it a bit of a mission to manage it in 2014. And success! Meet my Ami-Me:

My Ami-Me is all kitted up for Roller Derby (my skates, pads and helmet actually are those colours too). And she’s posable too, thanks to some concealed pipe cleaners. She’s made as a blank, naked body then I created clothes to sew her into plus removable equipment. Then I made her the best accessory ever – an Ami-Boyfriend!

Based on my actual other half, again with (at the time!) accurate kit (yes he does have horns on his helmet – his Derby name is Lucky Devil (mine is Rainbow D45H). He bought red skates shortly after making but at the time they were correct).

I liked this pair so much, I also recently Ami-fied my Mum and Dad for their birthdays, but I did theirs using colour changing while making the bodies to create the clothing, to make the process quicker.

I plan to do the rest of my family as their birthdays (or possibly Christmas) happen.

Anyhoo – pattern! Free! After the jump.

Free Pattern: Guardian Bear

Has everyone seen this meme before?

The original image is from Begemott on DeviantArt. I love it – it totally describes what I feel about my bear Snuffy who I showed you all earlier in the week. And while idly flicking through the internet a couple of weeks back I got relinked to the meme and decided I HAD to make that bear.

  

Yes he’s fighting a sheep in that last photo. I didn’t have any scary soft toy monsters!

I call him the Guardian Bear and he’d be a great make for anyone, but I think he’d be a particularly nice gift for a child who is struggling with nightmares. Or in my case an insomniac adult who’ll give anything a shot (I’m not sleeping because of monsters, sure – gimmie the Guardian Bear!).

Free pattern after the jump.

Roller Derby Ami (Free Pattern)

Guys, I have discovered a new obsession, nearly as life consuming as crochet.

Roller Derby.

For the uninitiated, Roller Derby is basically rugby (or american football) on roller skates, minus the ball. The idea is to get one player on a team of five past the other teams players to score points, and to do that you push the other team’s players out of the way or get in the way of them moving in order to let your jammer (the point scorer) through your wall of blockers. If you’ve ever seen ‘Whip It’ it’s that, only not actually quite as violent, and on a flat track in my case. I’m only very new new to the sport, so not at a game playing level yet until I pass some more minimum skills, but I am loving it.

And as is the case when you love something and also make ami’s, of course you crochet it!

 

Meet Ami! On the left here she is skating on my boyfriend’s team’s floor. On the right she’s been expertly modelled by my team mate Ninja Nina* from the Halifax Bruising Banditas. Check us out if you’re UK based, we’re recruiting! Check us out if you’re not UK based too of course 😉

*Names are a thing in Derby, as are personalised numbers. Mine is Rainbow D45H, after the My Little Pony character. I’m cool…

Pattern for Roller Derby Ami after the jump.